Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Remember Me

Everyone should have seen it coming. It was no surprise to her. She had thought about it before, suicide, that is, but she was always afraid. Not of death, of what she would miss, or maybe it was if anyone would miss her. It's not like she was mad, or crazy or anything, no, of course not. She just wanted everyone to shut up. For once, just to stop talking about herr. She knew people did. The whispers in the hallway, the posts on Faccebook, those secret notes passed back and forth in class. All she wanted was for someone to see it, someone to tell her that they werre there and she didn't have to do this. Did anyone notice though? of course not. She was just average. Popular but not the most popular. Sure she was pretty, she was smart, and she was good at sports. But she wasn't gorgeous, not a genius, and definitely not a super athlete. Nothing specail. How, you might ask, would make a girl like her do something like this? It doesn't take much.

It started out small. Little things like saying she stuffed her bra, or herr shorts were an inch too short. But everyones shorts were, so why call out hers? It's kind of a snow ball effect, as you could call it. It started out with something big and one thing led to another. But back to the point. People started calling her a whore. How could she wear such revealing clothes? Why was she hanging out with that guy when she has a boyfriend? Did you hear what she did last weeknd? Then it got bigger.. Guys looked at her differently, girls didn't want to be her friend, she started to question if what people werre saying was true, if she really was a whore? She began blaming herself. Soon she only had one friend left, Kaycee. She and Kaycee hadnn't been friends for long before Garrett asked her out.

 Kaycee was so happy for her. Her and Garrett went out for nearly 3 months. With him she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to. All they did was make out, and he didn't make her do more. He called her gorgeous instead of hot, he texted her goodmorning everyday, he called when he said he would. He was perfect, until one day he broke up with her. She was crushed, she cried all night and when she called Kaycee, Kaycee said that he was a jerk anyways and that she could do better.

The next dad she got a call. Her old friend Britt who she hadn't talked to in a while. Britt had seen Kaycee and Garrett making out earlier that day. They had been together all day and were flirting all day. Kaycee had ditched Britt and went to go make out with Garrett. She was crushed. The rumors were still flying. Rumors that she was hooking up with guys, that she wasn't a virgin, that she was on drugs and drinking on the weekends, and that she was with older guys. She had lost her boyfriend, her bestfriend, and everyone else. She couldn't take it. She just wanted people to shut up.

But they didn't. She stopped talking to people. Cut her hair off. Slept more than she should. Didn't turn in her homework. She hoped, and prayed that someone would notice, that ANYONE would tell her it's okay. No one did. She knew what she wanted to do. The last person to stop her was her counsler, Mrs. Farris. She tried to give her signs; tried to make it obvious, she tried and wanted and hoped and prayed for Mrs. Farris to say something, anything to stop her. Mrs. Farris was her last hope, the last thread of the rope that would keep her lifted from falling. But Mrs. Farris couldn't tell, or care enough.

That night, the girl went home, she didn't want to make some big dramatic thing. She just wanted peace. For once she wanted peace. No more pain and hurt. She took a sleeping pill.. and then another.. and then another.. and yet 4 more. She laid down in bed and thought until her eyes were heavy enough to the point of not being able to keep them open. She knew this would be the last time she saw the world. The last time she breathed the sweet air of the Earth. She didn't leave a note. No apology for what she did, because she wasn't sorry. This was what she had to do. It wasn't her fault. She didn't blame anyone. The last words she said were "Remember Me."

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